It has been another week. Not going to lie; I am tired. There is so much going on, both in real life and in social media, and it is mentally draining. I watched a sermon this Sunday by Steven Furtick titled “Tired on the Inside” and it was spot on. I recommend watching that if you are feeling this weariness, too.
As I was preparing for this week’s blog post, I felt like I was supposed to discuss the topic of being at peace and resting with Jesus. Then, I rolled my eyes a little bit, to be honest, because it felt so hypocritical to talk about this like I had mastered it. However, while I am just dipping my toes into the idea, I think it is an important message for right now. I am not good at this way of living yet, by any scope of the imagination, but I do believe in God’s grace and His miraculous ability to use imperfect people.
My internal stress, I have found, comes from my choice to not surrender everything. One of the many lessons the Lord has been teaching me lately has been letting go. Some things I am not supposed to carry. Some things I want to continue to carry, but He says to put it down. In my unwillingness to let it go, I am causing myself strife, robbing myself of rest.
The funny thing is, my family has never been what you call “super busy.” We leave the house for church (well, not now, unfortunately) and for school (again, no), and that’s it. Technically speaking, we have plenty of rest. However, what me and my family members lack in so-called “activity,” we make up for in thinking everything over at least twice and internalizing it.
That is to say, I consciously am making the decision to create my own problems. I am, as one would say, shooting myself in the foot.
An interesting point Steven Furtick made was that Jesus knew weariness. On multiple different occasions, he displayed understanding. He is 100% human and 100% God, so of course he does! But at the same time, I know we don’t give Him enough room to demonstrate His understanding.
With the woman at the well in John 4, Jesus sat down and waited for her in the heat of the noon sun. He had been traveling. He was tired. But still, He knew how tired she was. He meets us where we are at.
Another thing that really touched me as well. Jesus makes the comparison with the water at Jacob’s well to himself being the Living Water. The whole exchange with the woman is a sampling, an appetizer if you will, of the life Jesus can give. This leads to the question: what wells are you drinking from?
On Sunday, Steven Furtick made the point that you have to be very conscious and aware of the wells you are drinking from, because some wells can leave you more dehydrated than when you first drank from them.
This is the part that really struck me. I hold on to my dreams and my plans so tightly. Even in the midst of my surrender, there is a clenched fist. In my openness before God, I still have a hand gripping the steering wheel. I am ready to give everything over to Him, except for that one thing that I really want to happen so I will work myself to death trying to make it a reality.
The moment the Lord touches that part deep down, I spring into defense mode because I don’t want to let it go. Even when the thing is going to be better long term, I don’t want it because I held on to this dream for longer.
Funny how my gripping onto the sides of the car is draining me more right now than if I just let go and trusted Him. Maybe it’s time to abandon a well. Maybe it is time to shake out the tension in your shoulders from “controlling everything.”
Jesus is my rest.
So, in light of that, I let my white knuckles relax. I take a deep breath. I hand what I put into my mind on a daily basis to Him. It’s time to move on from this well. I have been here for too long without water.
I strongly encourage you to go watch the sermon because he made excellent points that I didn’t touch on here. It nourished my heart to hear that I’m not alone in feeling tired. I think we’re all a little tired to some degree.
To that point, please remember to take care of yourselves, sweet friends. Please get enough sleep. Protect your mental health. Listen to calming music and have time with Jesus.
love you guys!